Friday, March 22, 2013

Changing tides

So, it's been almost two months since I posted last.  Obviously.  But, there has been a lot happening and some big changes taking place in our home.  Just last Friday, Andrew and I found out that there is nothing more the mortgage company can do to help us avoid foreclosure.  That's right, we are in the foreclosure process.  As scary and horrifying as this whole thing is, it is such a time to look to God and His promises of provision, protection and good.  Instead of Andrew or myself playing the blame game or this whole thing separate us it has brought us closer together and more reliant on Christ.

There is so much in Scripture to encourage and comfort one in this kind of situation.  My favorite is one that was brought to memory while Andrew and I were praying together.

Matthew 6:25-34

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdomand his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

What a beautiful reminder!  How true it is.  If the birds always have a home, why would God not lead us to the new place that we are to be.  The whole messy situation that we have gotten ourselves into is such a beautiful picture of God's love and grace.

It has been such a good refining experience for me already.  All of my growing up years I was a strong, confident, "do it myself" person.  After "the summer of letting go" I spiked in my confidence and then just let it all go.  My confidence and security in Jesus just diminished and I relied only on myself and felt that it was my responsibility to right everything and I became afraid.  I have been afraid to answer the phone and talk to creditors, afraid to face my poor choices and decisions etc.  But, after receiving that letter I knew there was nothing else to do but take Jesus's hand and deal with things with boldness and confidence in Him.  So that's what I and Andrew are doing.  We still don't know where we'll go or what we are going to do, but we are taking every action and step that we can in confidence with Jesus.  And looking for His guidance in everything we do.

At the same time that all of that is going on, I am still battling with my anger and impatience, but there is obvious progress being made.  The biggest thing that Jesus is working in me right now is having GRACE.  I am not a very gracious person and He is constantly showing me that I need to extend the same GRACE that Jesus gives me for my mistakes to my sweet, precious, growing boy.

My sweet, sweet boys.  They grow so quickly!

I probably won't post until after Easter, so enjoy your friends and family and remember the GRACE given us on that sweet day!
Thanks for reading!