Update

Well I received my first letter from the love of my life last Saturday. It was very encouraging to see the way that God is working in his life and answering prayers in a huge way. What a mighty God we serve.

As we are apart, I have busied myself with trying to organize and re-organize our home to a way that makes it feel warm, homey and welcoming to myself in hopes that others will fee that way as well.

Mister Bennett is growing so quickly. He is such a gem. I don't think I could have ever asked for a better baby. He enjoys snuggling with me when he is tired and he often falls asleep that way. He is such a character playing on the floor. My home is often filled with the noises of our little man experimenting with his little voice and laugh. What a joy. Most recently he has been working on his little squeal which at this point is still a joy to hear just because he does it when he is the most excited. Like when we are playing airplane on the floor. Such a blessing.

As Andrew has been learning and being taught things about himself while going through basic training, God has been doing the same in me. One of the toughest things for me has been not having Andrew as a companion when I do things. I have learned that over the years I have developed "security blankets." Meaning, people or things that I keep very close to me as a way to sort of hide myself from the outside world. I use them to hide behind so as not to have to interact with people, and risk putting myself out there for the world to "take stabs at". A rather dangerous thing as a believer. I am realizing that I need to re-learn how to make Jesus my husband and "security blanket", how to run to Him, reside in Him and cast all of my cares on Him no matter the cost.

I have learned that I not only do this spiritually, but physically as well. After having Bennett, I had a lot more baby weight left over than I was expecting and resorted to "hermitizing" myself by making excuses to stay in and then I didn't have to try to do my make-up or hair or try to feel pretty. Or even get dressed which has been a very hard thing for me to have to deal with. I didn't fit in any of my clothes for the longest time so I would just wear Andrew's sweats around and wouldn't go anywhere so I could just vedge in his sweats. A security blanket. But I have begun to try to force myself to do things above and beyond what I "feel like" doing. Even if it is just my hair after a shower.

What a blessing it is to have Andrew going through military basic training. The sacrifice of time has been tough but it is all for the best. I keep imagining when he comes home, it is going to be like a re-starting of our marriage which I believe both of us have needed. I am looking forward to re-starting our marriage and making Christ stay the center of it, and ultimately learning to serve one another as Christ would have us do. What a blessing...I know not everyone has another chance to start a marriage over with the same man after not actually separating in your relationship, but rather distance.

I was just thinking the other day what an amazing man Andrew is to sacrifice so much time with our son in order to receive training to have a job that will support us fully. I can hardly allow Bennett to be away from me long enough for someone to hold him let alone to spend four months and never get to see him...I hadn't realized before Andrew left what a sacrifice it truly would be for him.

What a mighty God we serve.