a love story unfolds...part 1

I got to thinking this morning about what to post about today (since I am trying to post every day now) and there were so many things that came to mind...I could post about my silly Facebook status updates that I tend to have run though my mind anytime I think something.  "I just really love how my belly is a perfect ball in front of me," or "It's going to be one of those kinds of days, Bennett woke up grouchy..." and so on.

Then I started thinking about what I wanted to do today.  I have been in a very hard-core, clean, arrange, re-arrange, sort, organize ect and I had the fun idea to paint our bedroom door and put a phrase on it.  Obviously I began trying to think of phrases and one of the ones that came to mind was a saying that my husband wrote to me before I ever considered dating him...

"I don't want to be a thief; I don't want to take something that isn't mine to have.  You shouldn't let me steal your heart, you should keep it and give it to whoever that one person God has for you.  Hearts are fragile things.  I don't want yours if I'm not supposed to, cuz I don't wanna break it."  

My thought was to rephrase it to be shorter, and simpler and then I began to think, I never posted about how we met.  So I thought I would share our story with you today...

Our paths crossed many, many times and we had never even known it.  After we got married, Andrew confessed to me one day that he had seen me at Valley Fair (I had gone with a friend that attended the same youth group that Andrew did) running and jumping off a bench and screaming while I did it.  He turned to a mutual friend and said, "I will never date a girl like that!"  We criss-crossed through youth group events like that off and on.  I actually have photos of both of us in them before we ever even met.  It's always so fun to see how God paves the way for relationships.

Our youth groups decided to go on a missions trip to New Orleans together.  It was the first one that I decided to attend and Andrew allowed to attend.  I had just been breaking free of a stalking, verbally and emotionally abusive relationship and God really had some huge plans for my heart and soul down there.  My ex actually decided to go on the missions trip as well, and at the time I was trying to keep complete distance with him, not talk to him, not even be in the same room with him for the time being, so I took the separate van instead of the bus.  Andrew and I still had no idea about one another.

We got down there after a long, long, long ride with loopy drivers ;) and singing songs about having to pee and making signs to show the bus that we needed to pull over.  The girls set up in one building, the guys in another (there have been some pretty fantastic stories about what unfolded in the guys room that first night).  Things progressed, Andrew and I ended up meeting because of another mutual friend and a "group" of us formed.  We all had fun and laughed a lot.  My ex and I began trying to be friends again, and things just went too far again.  He started getting too attached, I began letting my guard down and leading him on in a way and from there we had a good ole down-hill tumble.  He began stalking me again, and thankfully (now) my mom was on the trip with us for support, I even went to our youth leader about it.  The advice I received was to just stay away from one-another for the rest of the trip.

So as Andrew and I grew closer on the trip, my ex grew more and more jealous and angry that I was hanging out with other guys.  At one point, he confronted me on the bus and I was horrified, I was so scared that he would hurt me physically he was so angry.  By this time, most people in both youth groups seemed to avoid me, some of the "leaders" in our group confronted my mom, telling her she just needed to let me deal with things and stay out of it.  A couple of girls confronted my only reliable friend and told her to keep her nose in her own business as well.  It seemed as if everyone had abandoned me.  Except Andrew.  And a few of our other, mutual friends.  One night, my ex stalked me around the lunch room, I was scared, and unsure of what to do, I remember my only thought being "I just want to be with Andrew right now."  Whether that thought was actually out of the love that was blossoming hidden deep in my heart at the time, or just a "he's a strong guy that I can hide by" thing, I don't know.

Finally, it was time to head home and we tried to get Andrew permission to ride the van home with me.  His mom's first response was "What girl did you meet?"  Haha!  Oh a mother's intuition!  Unfortunately she didn't allow it.  We just had to text back and forth the whole time...yea, I had very SUBTLY asked him if I could use his phone to text mine to alert a friend...clearly, Andrew would have never caught on to me TAKING his number!

Once we got back, we just kept on with our friendship.  At one point, he asked me out and I said yes, but it was on the DL and I broke up with him just because.  I really don't remember why.  The clearest thing I remember about that fuzzy time is that I just went downhill with my relationship with Jesus, I lost most of my friends, clinging to the unhealthy ones and going after guys that weren't worthy my time of day.  Andrew was the most solid friend I had through the whole time.  He would proclaim his love to me in subtle ways and I would just shove it aside, thinking to myself, "I don't deserve someone as good as him," or "he's too skinny," or "too shy," and just completely trying to avoid and talk myself out of his love.

The day I finally accepted it was interesting.  I had been "seeing" this guy, without my parents's permission, or knowing (mom and dad I am so very sorry, and for obvious reasons didn't tell you about this guy) only seeing him while I hung out with my one girlfriend.  He was a very unhealthy person for me to be around.  He was 23, I was 18 (I think) and because of my doubt and anger and hurt from the missions trip and all that had unfolded with "Christians" I had thrown out almost all that I had believed in and stood by.  I cannot tell you how many times I debated with myself about giving all of me to this undeserving man.  I truly believe that because my parents named me Kayla (pure one) and called me that all of my life, and because I have a praying Mother, those are the reasons that I staid pure and didn't cross ANY lines with this guy.  But, coming back to accepting Andrew's love...I received a text message that morning around seven from my friend saying that "Chris and Alexis had sex last night."

I was numb.  I really didn't feel anything because I just expected it.  I knew it would happen sooner or later and I had no heart attachment to this guy.  But being dramatic, I sent Andrew a text about needing him, he didn't respond, I believe I called him once or twice, and then sent him a text saying, "I could really use a friend right now."  He finally called me back and I don't remember the whole conversation, the part I do remember though has and always will stick with me...I told him what had happened, and his first response was, "Kayla, why are you being so stupid?"

Not exactly the response I was looking for, but at the same time it was...He was the first person to call it how it was.  He said something else about how I always go for the guys that will hurt me and the ones that don't really care about me and that's when it dawned on me that Andrew was the very first and only guy to care about me so much to call me stupid to my ear.  He was so angry with me at this point that he didn't even care if he hurt me.  He just wanted me to see that there are guys out there so much better that I could be looking for (like himself).

So from there, my summer just got better and better and my relationship with Jesus grew and grew, to be honest, I am still fighting to come back to the point that I was before all of this went down, but I have had ups and downs, but the thing that still rings true is that Andrew was my very first TRUE love.  And always will be.  He was my best friend before ever being considered a candidate for husband and he has been the best friend a girl could possibly ask for.

Best friend, wonderful Daddy, good provider, honest, solid, I am just so thankful for him and so thankful for the twisty ways that God moves and shapes us even through our most pathetic mistakes and blatant disobedience.

So there you have it, our meeting story, kind of.  I left out the part of Andrew knowing from the first time he saw me on the trip that God told him he would marry me and other little details like that, but perhaps I will ask Andrew's version and share that one day.

Thanks for reading, have a blessed day!
Kayla